And I Had Him

It's been six months
He sleeps more than he talks now
But I still read him the weather
just in case he's listening

I count the pills, I change the sheet
I hum old songs while he tries to eat
The days blur out like watercolor skies
But I smile for him, I don't let him see me cry

I promised I wouldn't fall apart
I said I'd stay strong, I lied
I scream in showers, I laugh at the fridge
I burn the toast, then call it a bridge

Between what we had and what's slipping away
And I still hold his hand every goddamn day
You're doing it, love
You're doing it all

Even when the nights are long and I barely call
David, you're awake
You're really here
I didn't get to see the sea

But you gave me sunlight, you gave me me
I found forever in the sound of your name
You gave me summer, and I'm glad it came
Stay, just a little longer please

Let's watch the rain, I'll make you tea
Let's pretend we've still got fall
Even if it's just for me
I love you

You've made this life the best it could be
Nine months, no sea
But he had summer
And I had him

And I had him